How can I stop my child’s P.E. teacher from dividing up kids by their gender to make sure each team has the same number of girls on it?
It’s important to share your perspectives and insights with your child’s teacher. We are partners with teachers in educating our children after all and what you notice can be valuable. Each teacher has their*unique life perspective and may not even be aware of what they’re doing.
Below is an example of how you could start a conversation with the teacher:
“May I talk to you about something?
“I have been learning about gender stereotyping. I found out that when a person mentions gender, or splits up teams using gender, before doing an activity, it reminds each child of all the gender stereotypes related to that activity. If the stereotypes are negative for the child’s gender, the impact on the child is negative. If it’s negative for a different child’s gender, the child will typically think negatively of that different child. So if a teacher says “I need another girl on this team so it’s fair,” all the girls and boys are reminded of all the times they’ve seen or heard that girls aren’t as fast, skilled, competitive, or strong. It’s been shown that girls don’t perform as well at an activity compared to when gender isn’t mentioned at all. Also boys are less likely to treat girls as equal teammates when gender is mentioned.
“What are your thoughts on what I’m saying?”
(Listen to response)
“I understand what you are saying. I would like to make a request. Could you split up the teams in your classes in different ways? I have a list of different ideas and would appreciate you taking a look at it.”
(Show list and listen for comments)
(Suggest solutions if you hear teacher mentioning problems.)
Example problem: I won’t be able to make the teams fair.
“That’s an interesting point. What if you mentioned to the kids that you create the teams primarily so they can practice their skills and have fun? Sometimes the teams will feel fairer or feel more even than other times. And that’s okay. The most important parts are that they are using their skills, trying their best, seeing themselves improve, having fun moving around, and being good teammates to each other.”
Example problem: The kids are used to it and will complain.
Answer: “Okay. What if you said to the kids, ‘Yes, we have created teams that way before. There are lots of ways to make teams and groups and we’re going to be using more of them.’ “
“Here is my list of ways to create teams.”
(Show your list and listen for input)
Consider this conversation the first step in creating a back-and-forth dialogue with your child’s teacher. They may have interesting insights to share that will help you strengthen your message and increase your own learning. You may also want to bring up that how girls feel in physical education class can carry over to their academics, particularly in the classes they have right after P.E. For example, what if a girl has math or science right after P.E.? Also how boys treat girls can also be tied to how kids are treated in P.E.
List of ways to create teams:
Line up by the first letter of your first name in alphabetical order (Then have them count off for the number of teams you need. Kids count off “1,2,3,4,5,6” if you need six teams.)
Line up by the first letter of your last name in alphabetical order (Then have them count off for the number of teams you need.)
If your birthday is in January through June over here. If your birthday is in July through December over there.
If your birthday is on 1 to 14 over here. If your birthday is on a date 15 to 31 over there.
Grab one and come back to the circle as fast as you can. (Have items in different colors for the number of teams you need. For example have 4 colors when you need 4 teams. You can use colored disks, flags, pipe cleaners, Starbursts, Skittles, mini pom-poms, etc. Do not use pink or blue as they relate too much to gender stereotyping.)
When I throw up these balls, grab one and come back to the circle as fast as possible. (Throw small balls in the air and kids need to grab one.)
Line up by height. Tallest on this end. (Then split them up by counting off 1-2 or a two word phrase such as balloon-drop or candy-cane—or a longer phrase for four teams such as “I am having fun” or “I am a good teammate.”)
When I yell out a number, gather in groups of that number as fast as you can. (Yell out a number and people have to gather in groups of that number as quickly as possible. Best for groups of 6 or less.)
Everyone, cross your arms. (If your right arm is on top, you’re in one group. If your left arm is on top, you’re in another group. This usually splits in half, or close to it.)
Clasp your hands in front of you. (If your right thumb is on top, go over there. If your left thumb is on top, go over there. If your thumbs are side by side, go over there.)
Grab a card and come back to the circle as fast as you can. (You toss a deck of cards in the air. You can then assign teams based on a variety of categories, number, suite, face card/number card, 1 through 6 over here, 7 through 14 over there, etc.)
* Use their, them as singular pronouns
Modeling Gender Equity | Words That Identify Gender | Handling Disagreements With Life Partner | Benefits of Not Emphasizing Gender | Keeping Gender in the Background | How Critical to Knowing Someone Is Biological Sex or Gender? | Overcoming Uncomfortable Discussions About Reproductive Parts | Handling Stereotypical Behaviours | Handling “Be a Man” Directives Towards Son | Handling “Smile” or “Hug Me” Directives Towards Daughter | Suggest to P.E. Teacher Not to Divide Teams By Gender | Explaining Why Girls and Women in Children’s Books Have Long Hair | Using Other Adjectives When Praising Your Child | Handling Pronouns for Toddlers | Handing Pronouns for Younger School-Age Children | Handing Pronouns for Older School-Age Children
