Parents on your left are teaching it, and parents on your right.
“Look at him,” “He’s jumping,” “See his stripes?”
They’re sending the message that there is one primary gender and it is male.
These parents may not even realize they’re doing it. If they do realize it, they might not think it’s a big deal.
Yet by calling every animal they’re looking at a “he,” they are promoting patriarchy and passing it onto our children.
Patriarchy is a way of looking at life and people.
It directs us to focus on males’ existence, abilities, and accomplishments. It wants us to ignore females, except when they are raising young or meeting the needs of the males of the species. It guides us to filter out what females are doing right in front of our faces, and teaches our children to do the same.
The rare moment when a female animal is acknowledged by parents at the zoo is when a baby is spotted. The animal near the baby is then called a “mommy.” This perpetuates the belief that females are only “baby makers” and not fierce animals in their own right. It also perpetuates the belief that females are not worthy of talking about unless they are reproducing or taking care of others.
What these parents forget to communicate to their children is that female tigers don’t always have babies to care for and can rip your arm off just as much as a male tiger.
In fact, in some animal species, the females are particularly terrifying and in many species the female is bigger than the male.
Most female spiders eat the males after sex, as do several octopus and occasionally the Praying Mantis. Male bees do not even have stingers and stay in the hive, while every bee you see busily buzzing from flower to flower is female. Among sharks, including the Great White, the females are bigger–so too with whales; the Giant Squid; many snakes like the Anaconda; birds of prey such as the Red-tailed Hawk; Hyenas; Vampire bats; Leopard seals and so on. It’s very telling and problematic that many of us were never told these facts about the animal world during our childhoods. These facts definitely conflict with the values patriarchal thinking wants to promote.
Using “he” automatically to represent an entire species has serious consequences:
- All decisions, policies, and laws are made with the interests and wishes of “he.” Any accommodations for a “she” are considered special interest, extra, inconvenient, and excessive.
- When resources are divvied out, they automatically go to “he.” Any resources that go to “she” are considered special interest, extra, inconvenient, and excessive.
- When we automatically think of who would be best suited for our most important, critical, high-ranking jobs, we think of “he.” A “she” might be considered, but she will never be quite right.
- When we think of a person who represents the best of our species, who we all hope to aspire to be, we think of a “he.” A “she” could never be this.
- Data collected for computer programs are based on “he.”
- Medical studies are designed for “he.”
- Stories and nonfiction accounts in books and movies feature the perspective of “he” and we think we are telling the whole story.
It’s time to stop perpetuating patriarchal thinking and give the women and girls in the world their due.
This starts with something as simple as a visit to the zoo, and our use of pronouns.
By using the pronouns “she” and “it” at the zoo, and elsewhere, we are helping those words stick in kids’ brains.
Using “she,” and the related pronouns “her/hers/herself,” raises people’s awareness about the overlooked, other half of the population.
By using “it” (and the related pronouns “its/itself”), we decrease the emphasis on whether anything is female or male. Instead we focus our and our children’s attention on the individual tiger’s actions, majesty, power, and ability. This communicates to our children that their own biological sex isn’t first and foremost; that there is so much more to them that is important.
“Look at the tiger, it has stripes.” “It’s climbing. What’s it going to do next?” or “Look how big its head is.”
If you don’t like the word “it,” I invite you to consider:
- What about “it” is hard for me?
- Who benefits if I refuse to use “it”?
- What will I gain if I use “it”?
- How can I make it easier for myself to use “it”?
Usually a child will ask us, “Is it a girl or a boy?” (They will, because they’ve learned from the adults around them to focus on gender.) In response, we can say, “I don’t know. I do know, though, that it is a magnificent animal.” Then we can talk about the animal’s qualities and actions. If we do know the animal’s sex, we can still say, “That’s an interesting question. A question I have is what part of the world is it from? What does it like to eat?”
As you can imagine, using the pronouns “she” and “it” are helpful beyond the zoo. By being intentional with our words, we can recognize ways we have internalized patriarchy and sexism. That recognition is a gift to ourselves and our children. We can then re-teach ourselves and choose what we will pass onto our children. prono
Action Steps
■ Use "she" and "it"
Start using "she" and “it” in your day-to-day life when you talk about animals, e.g. dogs being walked, cats in a driveway, birds, squirrels, etc.
■ Make Changes
Notice the gender/biological sex of the main characters in books. Make changes to books, stories, and other messages, etc. to represent your values. If you own the book, you can write in the changes. If you are borrowing the book, you can verbally change the words. Remember, in the absence of your influence, other influences will fill in and take over.
■ Observe your child
Pay attention to how your child talks about their* stuffed animals. If most or all of the stuffed animals are male, it’s an opportunity to mention to your child that the world is full of female and male animals and that your home is part of that world. Then ask your child to think about which ones they'll make female. Avoid suggesting stereotypical reasons for deciding which animals are female, such as the one wearing a bow, with exaggerated eyelashes, wearing pink, the smaller one, wearing a dress, or because it's cute. Observe your child and you'll learn what messages they've already picked up about gender.
■ Look for bias
When you’re visiting children’s venues, notice how animals are represented. Encourage people who run animals shows to be clear when a animal is a "she," as many times this is overlooked. They can also use "it" for every animal, which is easy and inclusive. Notice the adjectives used when describing the same behavior in different sexes of an animal. While a boy animal might be called "curious," a girl might be "nosy." A boy animal might be "strong" while a girl animal might be "cute."
